I'm so proud!

I have finished all my portfolio tasks and started my assignment! A thing never known in the history of man has happened - I am not only applying myself and making an effort in something, I am ahead of myself and it looks like I should be able to spend the Christmas holidays enjoying myself, just tweaking my work a little, not actually writing the thing!

Pity my crit didn't go so well. The class were incredibly badly behaved (although they always are) and I ended up having to send out 2 people. Not only that but I forgot to watch for half the mistakes I know I've made previously so I made them all because the little cherubs were doing my head in. I still got all satisfactories and there were a few good points but between getting the VERY early train in case they were delayed (for once they weren't of course), my arthritis making my life a misery in this weather and my not feeling in control of the class, I just took everything negatively and felt like crap. So I went out for a walk in the sunshine (yes it did shine - for all of 20 minutes today) and felt a bit better when I came back in.

I think part of the problem is that I have worked a certain way for 8 years and am now expected to change it all since August (not going to happen - my brain isn't that fast!) In community drama your nearest coworker is about 5 miles away. You have no backup, no support, and until last year we didn't even have any assistants. You're on your own and just have to get on with it. I find the constant 'aroundness' of everyone quite frustrating just now. I appreciate their support but its just too many people too much of the time.

Another thing I'm peeved about is that in the community we expect kids to take responsibility for themselves and their actions. They take part and have to think - they can't wing it - and if they don't understand they have to say because I would never have been expected to be telepathic towards 15 - 20 kids. Now being telepathic to 30 because if they don't tell me they think they can skive for 10 minutes is incredibly annoying. Its more annoying because I know I'm only here for 6 weeks and there's nothing I can do in 6 weeks to alter that attitude. And its NOT just this school (which is brilliant). I've seen it time and again in schools and in general, that people expect teenagers to behave like adults but don't allow them to by really taking responsibility for their actions and certainly don't give them the tools to because that would involve relinquishing some dominance over them. My community groups may have been a loudmouthed, assertive and hyperactive bunch but at least they had some life and especially a lot of ownership of what they did. There's far too much emphasis on 'covering the curriculum' and not enough on actually teaching them how to access the curriculum and own their own work themselves. And before anyone complains it ain't possible - it is! I've seen it done in schools, in certain classes with certain teachers (and they weren#'t all credit classes either) and if I can do it seeing kids for 1.5 hours a week for blocks of 8 or 10 weeks (less than school term) other definitely can.

Anyway, rant over and I feel better. The school I'm at is fantastic and lovely and they do they're best while being influenced by politics and public feeling and the neverending list of things kids 'should be taught in school' (so parents, health professionals and the government don't have to bother!) When I take over the world its going to be all change!